someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
