tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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