you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
