Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
there's paper in my vomit.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
