If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
