I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize