apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
