If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
love makes seman taste better
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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