i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
