Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
