So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
