i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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