This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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