mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
