she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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