laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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