I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
