yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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