I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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