I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
