I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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