I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
