oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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