We won't sleep together?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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