I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
