Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
