do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
