it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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