i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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