Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
