That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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