I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
