i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
