I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
