id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize
