you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
