I love black thongs
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
