Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize