1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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