i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
