During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
