what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize