How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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