you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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