the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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