no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize