i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
