I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
