so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize