have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
