We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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