I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
