Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
