Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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