Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
