Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Even my vagina gasped.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
