i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
