last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
