Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize