no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
