O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
