Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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