I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
